Her Problems
by jesusfreak7777777
Summary: James and Lily are dead. Only one person knows that it wasn't Sirius who betrayed them. This is not from Sirius' or Peter's POV. It is finished.
1. Disclaimer

I own nothing.  It all belongs to J.K. Rowling.  Well, I do own Alanna.  Such a beautiful name.  And I own Andrew.      


	2. The Letters

The Letters

Alanna Brown barely took notice of the owl that flew into her window one morning, shortly after Halloween.  After all, she was getting married, many owls brought R.S.V.P.s throughout the day.  She took the letter, gave him some water and sent him on his way.  A second owl flew in after breakfast.  She put the letter with the first one.  She was slightly surprised when yet a third owl flew in her window.  This one she recognized.  It belonged to her friend Remus Lupin.  Alanna wished she had the time to read his letter, but she was late.  She was supposed to be meeting her matron-of-honor in Diagon Alley to look for a dress.  It was their third such outing, but they had had no luck yet.  Alanna's pale complexion, green eyes, and red hair were quite hard to cater to.  Alanna arrived at the Leaky Cauldron only five minutes late.  She approached the bar.

            "Tom, have you seen Lily?"  She called to the bartender.

            "You mean you're not Lily?" He called back.  Alanna smiled.  She and Lily looked so much alike people thought they were twins.  She took their usual table and sat down to wait for her friend.  Alanna was still sitting there an hour later.  _It's not like Lily to stand me up.  She thought, wondering what could have happened to her friend.  After waiting an hour longer, Alanna apparated back to her home.  She grabbed a quill and parchment and scribbled a note to Lily, demanding to know where she had been.  Alanna then went to her room to get ready.  She had a date that night with her husband-to-be.  The clock in her entrance hall struck seven.  He didn't come.  Seven-thirty.  He still wasn't there.  Alanna was disappointed.  He was rather punctual, except when it came to getting to classes.  He and James, Lily's husband, were always late.  They also had a tendency to play pranks on people.  Alanna remembered Remus' letter and decided to read it while waiting for her fiancé. _

­_Dear Alanna,_

_            I don't know how to tell you this.  I wish I could tell you in person, but there is a full moon tonight.  That and the Ministry doesn't want us to speak to each other before we are interviewed.  An official is reading this letter.  Lily and James were attacked.  You-Know-Who killed them.  How?  You know that Sirius was their Secret-Keeper.  Alanna, he betrayed them.  He handed them over to You-Know-Who.  The Ministry has him, but Peter tracked him down first.  He killed poor Wormtail.  Harry survived.  When You-Know-Who tried to kill him, the curse reflected back onto the Dark Lord, killing him.  Dumbledore has sent Harry someplace safe.  No one will tell me where.  They think I might be in cahoots with You-Know-Who.  I hope you read this before you read the Ministry's letters.  Please don't do anything rash.  I know how you feel about Sirius, but this is bad.  He will probably get life in Azkaban.  I didn't know how to start this and I don't know how to end it.  I'll be seeing you soon.  Don't lose hope._

_            Moony_

            Alanna never doubted that letter.  There were tear smudges all over.  It was barely legible, Remus had been shaking so hard when he wrote it.  Alanna's hand crept over to the other letters of its own free will.  The first one was from the Minister of Magic, ordering her to present herself at the Ministry the following day.  The other letter was from Professor Dumbledore.  He had taught all of them at Hogwarts.  He was Headmaster there now.  He offered his condolences and said that if she needed anything, she could go to him.  Alanna was surprised at the letters.  And yet she wasn't surprised.  Of course they would blame Sirius.  Everyone thought that he had been the Potter's Secret-Keeper.  Alanna knew better.  It was Pettigrew who had betrayed them.  That slimy rat was working for Voldemort all along.  Sirius had told her the week before.  Unfortunately, they hadn't even told Dumbledore.  No one would listen to her.  Alanna drowned herself in a bottle of vodka she kept around to cook with.  


	3. Dreams

Dreams

~*~*~*~*~*Flashback~*~*~*~*~*

Alanna ran into an old friend.  Literally.  

            "Drew?  Is that you?"  He was as handsome as she remembered.

            "Alanna?"  They embraced as only old friends do.  At her side, as always, Sirius growled.  

            "Drew, this is my best friend, Sirius," She said, indicating the tall, dark boy behind her.  They shook hands.  Andrew nodded politely at Sirius.

            "Sirius, get lost," ordered Alanna.  Sirius stuck his lower lip out and put on his puppy dog face.  "Now," growled Alanna, her eyes flashing dangerously.  "Go bother Lily and James."

            "Can't," replied Sirius in his I-know-you're-mad-at-me-but-I-don't-really-care voice.

            "And why not?" demanded an exasperated Alanna.

            "Because they're having sex in the backseat of your car."  He stated, very matter-of-factly.

            "They are not!  They know about my rule!"

            "Yes, but the rule states 'No sex under my roof.'  You never said anything about your car."

            "Whatever.  Then go bother Remus."  Her best friend raised his eyebrows in a silent question.  "Don't worry Padfoot.  I'll still be here when you get back.  I'll be okay."  She added in an undertone.  Sirius grinned at her.

            "Alright."  Sirius bounded off to find their friend.

            "He seems rather attached to you," Andrew commented as they watched him go.

            "He thinks he's in love with me, but he's very much mistaken.  He's been my best friend for six years."  Andrew shook his head.

            "You seem to have a talent for making your friends fall in love with you."  He answered her unasked question.  "Don't worry about me, Alanna.  I lived without you all these years.  I have a feeling that this might be the last time I see you so I don't want to talk about the way things might have been."  They spent a few hours just wandering around the muggle renaissance faire and reminiscing about when they were young.  A teenager Drew didn't know ran up to Alanna.

            "It's Padfoot."  The sandy-haired boy panted.  Alanna turned pale.  The boy pointed vaguely in the direction he came from.  "Be careful." He shouted at her retreating back.  Drew stared at the young man.  He regained his breath and looked at Drew.  The man extended his hand.  "Hello.  I'm Remus Lupin and you must be Andrew Critez."  

            Alanna panted as she ran, and not from exhaustion.  She reached a field.  A figure, robed in black was standing in the center.  She got closer, knowing where she would find Sirius.  The man stared at her with red eyes.  He let out a laugh and disappeared.  Alanna ran up to where he had been.  Sirius was lying on the ground.  Blood was everywhere.  She knelt on the ground next to him, placing his head in her lap as she waited for help to arrive.  It came, in the form of six Ministry wizards apparating around her.  They came forward and gently drew the boy away from her.  They put Sirius on a stretcher and several of them disapparated with him.  Another wizard took her hand and apparated with her.  They were in a white room in a hospital.  The wizard led Alanna to Sirius' room.  She knelt at his side and began whispering to him.

            "Sirius, don't you dare die on me.  I don't know what I'd do without you.  I would have died that summer without you.  D'you remember that summer, Sirius?  When I …

~*~*~*~*~*Flashback within a Flashback~*~*~*~*~*

            Alanna padded softly into her kitchen.  Her friends from school lived with her during the summer, and she didn't want to have to explain to any of them why she was eating pickles covered in chocolate syrup at two in the morning.  None of them, except for Sirius, knew that she was pregnant and she wanted it to stay that way.  Alanna was on her way back to her room, satisfied, when the pain hit her.  It was like cramps, only much worse.  She tried not to cry out, but she must have, because Sirius was there.  Her vision went spotted, then striped, then completely white, before she passed out.  She woke up in St. Mungo's hospital.  Her friends and housemates were standing around her, looking shocked.  All except for Sirius.  He was sitting by her bed, holding her hand.  A nurse entered the room.

            "Ah.  You're up.  That's a good sign."

            "What about my baby?"  Alanna burst out before she could help herself.

            "Yes, the baby.  Well, I'm sorry to tell you that your daughter was born this morning at 3:53.  She was stillborn."  Alanna gulped as the nurse continued.  "I know you don't want to talk about it, but do you know who the father was?  I need to put something on the death certificate."  Alanna looked pleadingly at Sirius.  He stood up.

            "I'm the father." He stated simply.  Alanna didn't want to look at her friends.  The nurse nodded amiably.

            "I was hoping so.  It's so horrible when these boys just leave these poor girls."  Alanna let out a small sob.  "Did the baby have a name?"

            "Yes.  Her name was Gwenhwyfar.  Gwenhwyfar Black."  Alanna had always told Sirius that she hoped it was a girl, so she could name her Gwenhwyfar.  Alanna love that name.  The nurse left.  Alanna's friends stared at her.  Sirius broke the silence.

            "Are you okay?" He asked Alanna.  She nodded, too tired to speak.  "Should I tell them?"  Another nod.  "Well.  Let's start from the beginning.  I'm not the father.  Dave is.  But she didn't know she was pregnant when she broke up with him.  I found out during one of Alanna's many bouts of morning sickness.  It was easier to tell the nurse that I was the father than to bring Dave into this.  He's a Muggle and Alanna never told him that she was a witch.  No one will ever know.  Except you guys."  The others nodded.  Lily went to Alanna's side and they cried together.  

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

And thank my one reviewer. Sob. I do not demand reviews before I post, but they are nice. The prize of the week goes to: (drumrole)

Epitaph Munku-JGSPTV


	4. Still the Flashback in a Flashback

Still the flashback in a flashback

Alanna managed to live through that summer with Sirius' help.  He tried to never leave her side for an instant.  The few times he did leave, she made attempts on her life.  One day he caught her with a muggle knife.  She was trying to slit her wrists.  He grabbed the knife and threw her into a chair.

            "Are you insane woman?  I thought you didn't even want the baby.  Now you're ready to kill yourself because she didn't screw up your life.  You can still go to school and get a good job.  You won't get expelled from Hogwarts and you won't have to live as a Muggle."  He stopped when Alanna broke down in tears.

            "I'm sorry.  It's just that I loved her.  Her father may have been a jerk and I may not have wanted her, but she was growing inside of me.  A perfect little being was being inside of me.  I loved that being, even though she was going to mess up my life.  I loved her.  I still do."  Sirius wrapped an arm around his friend.

            "Let me tell you something, m'dear.  I love you just as much as you loved Gwenhwyfar.  My life would be worth nothing without you in it.  Please remember that I love you and Remus loves you and James and Lily.  Dave loved you.  We all love you and would miss you terribly if you left us."  That ended Alanna's suicidal inclinations. 

~*~*~*~*~*End of Flashback in a Flashback~*~*~*~*~*

            Alanna dissolved in tears as she told her friend how he saved her the summer before.

            "Of course I remember."  Assured a groggy voice.  Alanna almost smothered her friend in hugs.  "I love you too, Alanna.  I love you too."

~*~*~*~*~*End of Flashback~*~*~*~*~*

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sorry for the too short chapter.  I had to end it there though.  You'll see why next chapter.  Which you'll never get if you don't review!  And the reviewing prize goes to: It's a tie! Between:

Brooke Kenobi

Molly W

Thanx!  You guys are the best!


	5. What are friends for?

What are friends for?

Alanna woke up the next morning with a killer headache.  She crept downstairs and got to work concocting a hangover remedy as quietly as she could.  Alanna gulped the nasty tasting potion.  She was halfway through breakfast when the events of the day before came rushing into her head.  The nausea hit her like a brick.  Alanna barely made it to her bathroom before her scant breakfast came up.  After her belly was empty, Alanna kept retching dryly.  She couldn't stop.  Smooth hands held her head as she began shaking violently.  She sank back against Remus' legs.  He wet a washcloth with warm water and rubbed her back and stomach.  Her shakes subsided and Alanna sat there numbly.  Remus gently put his hands behind her elbows and helped her to her room.  He sat with her on her bed and Alanna cried into his shoulder. 

"I thought we weren't allowed to see each other," Lily finally said when she gained control of her sobbing. 

"Well, the Aurors got my story and when they discovered that I couldn't, no wouldn't, defend Black, they let me go."  Alanna slowly drew away from Remus.  

"You think Sirius betrayed Lily and James?" She asked, disbelief in her voice.

            "How could I not Alanna?  Dumbledore himself said that Black was their Secret Keeper."  Alanna stood up and backed away from her friend. 

"Pettigrew was their Secret-Keeper!  They switched last minute.  They didn't even tell Dumbledore.  They knew someone was spying for Voldemort and everyone thought they would use Sirius.  So they did the unpredictable and switched.  And Sirius told me.  And I can't believe you're turning on your own best friend."  Alanna concluded rather lamely.  She was having a hard time feeling any emotion for very long, even anger, her favorite emotion.  Remus stared at her numbly.

"I don't believe you.  You've let your feelings for Black get in the way.  You just don't want to admit that you fell in love with a traitor and a murderer."  He stopped, not because he wanted to, but because Alanna slapped him.  He was shocked.  Alanna had never hit any of the Marauders.  Well, except for Sirius and he deserved it.

~*~*~*~*~*Flashback~*~*~*~*~*

            The Gryffindors were woken up one morning by an enraged girl's scream.

            "Sirius Black!"  Was the sound that came from the third year girl's dorm.  In the third year boy's dorm, the object of her anger grinned.  It was the best prank ever.  His three roommates groaned as they sat up, wondering what Sirius had done to Alanna this time.  Before it had been squishy objects in her bed, fake wands, and brightly colored hair.  She had retaliated with Filibuster Fireworks, Dungbombs, and strange-tasting food that made Sirius do wacky things.  The door to their room burst open and there stood a small whirlwind, aka Alanna Brown.  Her skin was a terrible orange color that clashed with her hair.  She ripped open the curtains around Sirius' four-poster and froze.  He was sitting in the lotus position, looking for all the world like he was meditating.  Alanna glared helplessly at James, Remus, and Peter who were sniggering.  She didn't want to interrupt Sirius' meditation if it was real, but she thought it wasn't.  There was still the possibility.  Sirius began shaking.  Alanna thought he might be having a seizure or something until she realized that it was suppressed laughter.  He opened his eyes slightly and whooped when he saw that Alanna was turning red.  Unfortunately, this clashed even more with her orange skin and she ended up looking purple.  The other three Marauders laughed even harder when a stream of purple pineapples ran up to Alanna and began singing the Robin Hood: Men in Tights theme song.  Alanna went over to Sirius and slapped him across his face.  The pineapples stopped singing and disappeared.  Her skin returned to its normal shade.

~*~*~*~*~*End of Flashback~*~*~*~*~*

            "Get out of my house," Alanna hissed in a voice she had always reserved for Slytherins.  

            "It's not like I wanted to be here anyway!"  Screamed Remus on his way out the door.  "Mudblood," he muttered under his breath.  

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Thanx again to Molly W.  My faithful reviewer.


	6. Memories

Memories

Alanna looked around at her bedroom.  It contained so many memories of Sirius.  Her eyes rested on the wineglass that brought them together.  It wasn't a normal wineglass.  The inside was black, and it was resting on a plate that had been dyed green.

~*~*~*~*~*Flashback~*~*~*~*~*

            Lily and Alanna giggled as they made their way to the kitchens.  They reached them and were surrounded by house-elves, trying to shoo them away.  Lily was confused.  House-elves were normally kind and considerate.  Lily saw an elf she recognized.

            "Teeny," she called.  The tiny elf ran over to Lily.  "Why are you trying to get rid of us?" She inquired.

            "Oh Miss, no Missus Lily, you aren't supposed to see your wedding cake until the reception.  Master James told us that you weren't to see the cake.  He said so, he did."  Teeny cried, a hint of panic coming into her voice.  Alanna, being impatient as usual, cut in.

            "We don't want to see the cake.  I wanted to ask you if you would slip this into the best man's wineglass." Alanna stated, holding out an inkbottle.  Teeny took it, but looked doubtful.

            "Don't worry, Teeny.  It won't hurt him, just dye his teeth black for a while.  He won't even taste it."  Lily reassured the small creature.  Teeny smiled at Lily.

            "Anything for Missus Lily on her wedding day.  Good luck, Mrs. Potter!"  The rest of the elves took up the cry "Good luck, Mrs. Potter!" as they shooed the pair out of the kitchens.  The girls were giggling as they ran back up to the room where the rest of Lily's bridesmaids were getting ready for the reception.  They ran into the groom on their way.  James swept Lily up in a passionate kiss as Alanna looked away.  She was happy for her friends, but she wished she could have love like they did.  James let Lily go and gave Alanna a hug and a grin.

            "And what are my two favorite ladies in the whole world doing near the kitchens?" He inquired, his brown eyes laughing.

            "Getting into trouble," replied Alanna as she smiled up at him.  She and Lily ran around him and linked arms as they ran off.  "Just wait until the best man makes his speech." Alanna called as they raced around a corner.  James chuckled and proceeded to the kitchens.

            "Master James, you just missed Missus Lily."  Said Teeny as she saw him.

            "No, I saw her on my way down.  Listen, Teeny, could you slip this into the maid of honor's food, compliments of Mr. Black?"  He asked handing the elf a packet with green powder in it.

            "As long as it doesn't hurt Miss Alanna." Teeny replied with a grin.

            "No, it won't hurt her.  Just embarrass her.  But I have a feeling that Sirius is going to be embarrassed as well."  James grinned at the elf, who nodded in confirmation.  "This will be a most interesting wedding reception." James muttered to himself as he went back upstairs.

            The trouble didn't begin until the best man stood up to give his speech.  Sirius opened his mouth to talk, and the room burst out laughing.  Sirius, being as thickheaded as he was, just laughed along with them.  This drove the audience into hysterics.  He was getting slightly confused and he looked at James.  The groom had buried his face in his wife's hair, so as not to laugh, and Lily was crying with mirth.  Padfoot's eyes moved to the other side of Lily, where sat his one true love and worst enemy, Alanna.  She was trying to look innocent as she laughed with everybody else.  Lily finally took pity on him and dug in her handbag for a mirror.  She handed it to Sirius, and his eyes widened.  His teeth, lips, and tongue were black.  

            "Alanna!  What did you do to me?  Fix it!"  Alanna started crying as she replied.

            "I can't fix it.  It's muggle ink.  It might come out in a week or two."  Sirius glared at her and sat down.  It took five minutes for the crowd to quiet down.  Sirius held a napkin in front of his face and gave the speech, changing it to include an evil maid of honor who loved to see other's humiliation.  Alanna stood up to give her speech, checking to make sure her appearance was normal.  She had noticed that her plate was green in the center, but couldn't bother to figure out what Sirius did to her this time.  Alanna opened her mouth and began to talk.  Problem was, there wasn't any sound coming out of her mouth.  Sirius had silenced her!  She glared at him and began yelling silently that he undo whatever he had done to her.  He laughed and laughed.  Remus took pity on his poor friend and tried to do the spell that would give Alanna back her voice, but it didn't work.  Sirius laughed even harder.  It was then that the maid of honor dove across the bride and groom to get at her antagonist.  Sirius yelped and took off running.  James smiled slyly at his wife.

            "Our plan is working, my dear."  He whispered in her ear.  Her eyes followed the figures of her best friend and her husband's best friend as Alanna chased Sirius into a small side room.

            "It sure is." She replied as she stood up to perform the spell that locked them in there.  With any luck, the two would get together.

~*~*~*~*~*End of Flashback~*~*~*~*~*

            It had worked.  They emerged from the room, engaged, the next morning.  The wedding had been postponed numerous times, mostly because of attacks from Voldemort.  Sirius was an Auror, so when there was an attack, he had to take care of it.  Alanna looked around until her eyes fell on a drawer.  She opened the drawer and took out a long knife.  She attempted suicide for the last time, only Sirius was not there to save her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Thanx to all my lovely reviewers.  I hope the ending didn't shock you too much.  What else could I do?  Harry doesn't have a godmother.  She must die.  Sorry to all of you who like Alanna.  I'm rather fond of her myself.  She's my best character yet.  It is finished.


	7. Remus

            Remus Lupin grimaced as the coffin was lowered into the ground.  He felt horrible, guilty.  _Maybe if I had just believed her she wouldn't have done this to herself.  But I can't believe her.  She's the only one fighting for him in a world that doesn't care.  No!  He betrayed Lily and James.  He would have betrayed her too.  I just wish that I could have been there.  Maybe I could've stopped them from using Sirius.  No, Black.  He's Black now.  My enemy.  The one who betrayed his best friend and his wife.  Drove his fiancé to suicide.  Left me all alone.  No one cares about Lupin.  He's just an unfeeling werewolf.  And they won't even let me have Harry.  Something about being an unfit caretaker for the boy.  Maybe they're right.  He has to be fed every three hours.  Kind of hard on a full moon.  And her!  Why did she do this to herself?  She knows he did it.  He's not worth dying for!  He's not worth her.  She was always so good.  So naïve.  Black wasn't good enough for her.  No one could be good enough for her.  Maybe that's why she's dead.  Because no one could ever love her enough or take care of her like she deserves.  Why did Black do this to her?  A week away from their wedding!  Remus sadly walked back to his flat.  Everything reminded him of his boyhood friends.  The friends who were now all dead, except for one.  And he was the one who killed them.  He deserved the Kiss.  He left the apartment and headed for the nearest bar._

            "Give me the strongest thing you got."  He told the bartender.  The man raised his eyebrows.  Remus didn't look like a drinker.  Remus wasn't sure how much he drank.  He did manage to make it home, though.  He opened his eyes to find Alanna lying in the bed next to him.

            "Go away.  You're a hallucination.  A figment of my delusional mind."  Alanna sat up and grinned at him.

            "Up.  Up.  Up.  Get up.  Life's not over, yet.  You still have many years ahead of you.  Werewolves live approximately three hundred years, remember?"

            "Oh great.  Now the figment is reminding me that I have to deal with my shitty life for another two-hundred and eighty-something years."

            "It gets better."  Alanna stated, assurance in her voice.

            "How do you know that?"

            "I'm dead.  I know everything."

            "You knew everything before you died."

            "Well I still know everything."  She stared at him critically for a few moments.  "Yes, it definitely gets much better.  I almost wish I hadn't gone and killed myself, it gets that good."

            "Almost?"

            "Yes.  The only thing I regret about it is that I used a knife.  Should have used a gun.  Much less pain."

            "You are a sadistic little bitch, you know that right?"

            "Of course.  Except I'm a sadistic dead bitch."

            "You forgot little."

            "No.  I can be as big," she grew to the size of a hippo, "or as little," she shrank to the size of a flea, "as I want to be."  She concluded, coming back to the size she had been before she died.

            "So what's the point?  Why are you here?"

            "I need to tell you some things."

            "No, duh."

            "First of all, Sirius is gay.  Well, actually he's bi, but now that I'm dead, he doesn't go for girls anymore."

            "He's in Azkaban.  He's never getting out."

            "Oh yes he is.  He will escape, track down the rat and try to kill him.  He will be cleared eventually and come to live with Harry and his family.  You will have a family of your own, and he will become part of it."

            "All that is bull shit."

            "Oh well, I tried.  You will have a family.  Sort of.  A little girl.  She's quite pretty.  You will have your hands full with her.  She's worse than Sirius, James and I were combined.  Just remember to keep an open mind with her.  She will need love.  Lots of it.  But for now you must hang on.  Help others of your own kind.  I know you can.  You will.  And Remus, never give up hope.  It's not your fault I'm dead.  Not your fault at all.  Just tell Sirius that I love him and always will.  And never give up hope."  She disappeared.  Remus sat there, staring at a spot on the wall for over an hour.  He shook his head and left the apartment.  Time to change things.

~*~*~*~*~*

Hope you like it.  I decided that Remus should play a part in it.  And if you're wondering about the family part, read my other fic, White Wolf.  I think I'm going to add another chapter about a conversation Remus and Sirius have after PoA.  What do you think?


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